He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
