Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize