If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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