Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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