it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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