I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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