You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
