new low.... made out with someone while peeing
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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