I bet he comes in French.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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