she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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