Will you blow on my dice?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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