just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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