considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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