So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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