I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
