I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
