Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
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I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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