there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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