I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
