hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
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he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
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