i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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