ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
