for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
