so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
