is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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