No awkward lesbian experiences without me
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
