i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Why can't burritos get me drunk
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
