Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
