You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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