It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
