Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
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