ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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