Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
