He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize