the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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