ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
