i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
