I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
