Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
