absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
