It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
