his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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