No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
