No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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