I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
