He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
