if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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