she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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