Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
