took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
