just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
