We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
