we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
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